Thursday, October 9, 2008

motion sickness

I feel like life has put a blindfold over my eyes and spun me around. I take the blindfold off and find myself in a stupor of self-pity, completely overwhelmed by the hard facts of our situation. Alex and I both unemployed. Two precious little girls who depend on us. A mortgage. And brand new $1400 a month health insurance bill. A mailbox full of bills.

And then the blindfold is back on and I'm spinning again. This time I take the blindfold off and see how lucky we are. Alex has a job lined up. A flattering number of unsolicited job offers coming out of the woodwork for him. Freelance work for him. Freelance work for me. And two precious little girls who are completely oblivious to all the grown-up things going on around them.

Spinning again...I'm sad our family will be split up while Alex follows freelance work to another city.

Spinning again...Random days without work mean our little family can spend quality time together.

Spinning...family members so graciously and forcefully willing to help.

Spinning...spinning....spinning.....spinning....

I'm dizzy. I have trouble writing on this blog because one minute I feel a certain way....and then ten minutes later I feel something totally different.

But I can say that the uncertainty right now is exhausting. And I'm really no fan of being an unemployment statistic.

6 comments:

lisa said...

you have done such a great job at describing the flux and chaos that is unexpected change. I think this will hit home with lots of people.

Doodlebug said...

BTW great imagery. We are going through it too and the feelings are strange. Like yours, my husband has been lucky to have other opportunities, but the hardships remain.
It's just part of the stable of experiences that mold us.

Nilsa S. said...

Creativity runs through your blood. Through Alex's blood. I'm quite certain the two of you will figure out a creative way to land on your feet. Each and every time your world spins. I so very much hope you'll be able to enjoy your vacation next week. =)

Dawn said...

I feel very similar to how you are feeling, though a situations are a little different. Your post helped to remind me how lucky me and my family are despite the stress of money issues. I'm thinking of you friend. Let's try to chat tomorrow, okay? I really need to talk to my best friend.

Thinking of you. Miss you. Love you.

Jennifer said...

Hang in there girl. You are not alone.

Courtney said...

No, you're not alone. Being married to a real estate agent leaves me dizzy and sick to my stomach daily. Especially with a sweet little boy I don't get to see 4 days a week.

Hang in there...