There's something about motherhood that brings women together. It's like a club, a bond. And in this club, personal information flows freely between complete strangers. This other mother chatted with me as if we were best girlfriends. Her daughter in Canon's swim class is the youngest of her six children. Just sitting there listening to her life made me tired. Football, softball, swimming, cheerleading, homework, food, shopping, clothes, cars, vacations. Life is just big and busy in a family of eight. But what really struck me about this woman is that there was no hint of fatigue, self-pity, selfishness, exhaustion, negativity, or regret. My motherly prowess only covers two children, and sometimes they are more than I can handle. Sitting there on the bench I found my maternal confidence shrink inside my body. This woman and other women like her are phenomenons to me. What is it about them that I just don't have?
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Just because.
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9 comments:
First and foremost, love the picture of Elly in the box! Very cute.
Second, that mom was probably just having a good day. We all have them. Those days when the stars are aligned and all seems right with the world, and your kids are perfect, your husband can do no wrong, and you have no cares in the world. I am 100% positive that she's had more than her fair share of days that made her feel like she was an inadequate mommy.
Don't be so tough on yourself. You are 100% normal. We all feel inadequate at times. No one is perfect. Just keep doing what you are doing, because it's working. The evidence is in the two beautiful and sweet girls you have. You are a fabulous mommy, so keep your chin up!
Love you.
hey, i found you through SPC, but had to comment about this post because i so often feel the same way.
i think most of the time we come across as so much stronger than we feel. i have 4 kids that are 5 yo and under. i feel like i'm drowning every single day. and yet people constantly tell me how *with it* i am, how well-groomed the kids are, how patient i am. i don't feel like any of these things are true, but people assume or believe them about me.
try not to let yourself feel down because of someone else's projected persona. having kids is seriously hard work no matter how many you have. i've heard it gets easier as they get older, i'm still waiting for that to happen.
plus, this lady isn't going to tell you poolside all of the BAD things in her life...did she even mention her MIL? or her toe fungus? ;-D
Elly is so adorable in that picture!
Btw, we are our toughest critics. The other woman was probably sharing feelings of inadequacy but in a different way.
So, My best estimation is that Dawn was right, as usual...
I love the new banner!!
I echo everything already said. Also, not many women want to or even can keep a household with 6 children. That's why most stop after 2 or 3. :-)
I've felt inadequate too- I think it just goes with being human. So, I set goals for myself during the week- just a few. And when I meet those goals and cross them off my list, I feel better. Works for me!
She was probably telling you all the things she handles raising six kids because she needed someone to admire her. As you sat there in awe, her self-esteem was boosted. The life-career of "mother" is often over-looked and under-appreciated.
So you box your children huh? Good way to keep them out of trouble if you ask me. I don't really have anything of substance to add like everyone else. Just wanted to laugh about putting kids in boxes. I'm sure you do a great job despite your worries. Hell, they're beautiful if nothing else. :)
I think you know that 2 of my step-sisters have 4 kids each..and they plan on more. The difference between them and me is, they don't worry (at all, about anything). Now, I admit that I worry too much, but a little worry is a good thing, it keeps our children safe (she has called poison control like 6 times about her 3 year old and it's just a joke she tells- I would have a coronary the first time). love ya, jac
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