Canon is in her "don't take my picture" phase. And Elly just can't sit still. Put the two of them together and it's nearly impossible to get them in the same shot. I'm not sure what's going on in this one. I think Canon is trying to give Elly a hug, but Elly is busy gathering up some dirt to put in her mouth.Today something clicked for them; they became playmates. Up until now, they have had a genuine affection for each other, but today they actually played together. After lunch I released them from their high chairs and they both went straight for the doll house. As their mother, it's so moving to witness their relationship develop.
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In other mommy news, I'm losing my milk. I've been pretty bummed about it lately, but didn't want to admit it here...so I've basically been avoiding my blog. This is about the same time it happened with Canon. I really wanted to choose when to wean Elly, but it seems to be out of my hands. One more huge notch in my motherhood guilt stick. I feel like a failure. And it's not because I think there is a right or wrong time to wean, I just wanted it to feel right for us. This definitely does not feel right. To cheer myself up, I took some pictures of my baby girl.
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7 comments:
I understand the pain, it was the most wonderful thing to have that special time when only Ryan and I could be together. I only got to nurse Riley for about 2 months, she could not tolerate it for some reason. It was very emotional and sad for me. But on a happy note, my sister may be in labor. Hopefully she will not mess up our beach trip. That's me being selfish again!
Will you give me a photography lesson? You take the most amazing pictures of Canon and Elly. You do a fabulous job of capturing them in the moment. These are priceless memories, Christy!
I'm not even going to go there. Let's just say I am well familiar with breastfeeding guilt.
I can surely relate. I think my post-partum depression started when my milk went away. I felt so guilty for working, for not being a good enough mom, and you aren't needed as much, are you? It was really hard to swallow, and my mom handled my depression horribly...."you nursed for 6 months, I don't see what the big deal is" isn't exactly what I needed to hear. I am stressed about returning to work after this pregnancy already...which reminds me, I need to buy some lottery tickets. Hope to see you soon.
I keep thinking about you, Christy. I started breastfeeding my little guy but really didn't like it (I'm not pumping and using a bottle). You've mentioned a couple of times how you b-feed your babies for a long time. I totally admire that...because I can't do it. I'm weaning MD before I go back to work (in 3 weeks). So, be very proud of yourself. Everyone has their own situation and EVERY mom should be proud of what they sacrifice. Take care!
Oops, my last comment...I meant to say I'm noW pumping and using a bottle. The way my last comment was...I was totally contradicing myself! And, I love to proofread...
So...I'm realizing that I am not alone on the breastfeeding issue. I guess it's a sensitive subject for many mothers. Thank you all for making me feel normal. It's comforting to hear from other mothers.
Again, I would just like to say that I don't think there is a general rule on when it's "right" to wean. I think every mother needs to do what is best for her and her child(ren). For me...I just wanted to have the choice. And I wanted to feel good about the decision. Not being able to choose hasn't provided me with the closure I was looking for.
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